Hey woozens! I'm here to post the winners! And... (drumroll please) here they are!

1. I throw my sandwich in the air sometimes saying A-O! Where’s my Mayo? I throw my skittles in the air sometimes saying A-O! Taste the Rainbow! I throw my tests in the air sometimes saying A-O! Got a zero! - LiamSpark

2. I’d like to thank all the little people out there, especially those delivery guys, who helped me on the way to Ms. Taco Bell! - SweetieVampy

3. It sucks when I see that really cute person, then my face hits the mirror. - Cutecatsisy

4. A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

5.The awkward moment when you ask a midget what he wants to be when he grows up. - Espanolisme

Honorable mentions:

1. That awkward moment when the garbage man goes out more than you do. - Girltchi4

2. A potato has skin... I have skin... So call me Ms. Potato! - CallMeIzzybuc

3. Assassins have more fun than blondes. So take that Lindsey Lohan!

Ok, I know I'm missing a few names, but I'll have them up as soon as possible! Thanks again for everyone who submitted!